You Might Be in Southwest Texas if...

Monday, January 23, 2012 Road Junkies 0 Comments

  • you drive for 280 miles and pass through only two towns.
  • ninety percent of the plants you encounter are armed with barbs.

  • ninety percent of the animals you encounter lick their lips and wonder if the human body really consists of up to 60% water.
  • you have to drive 190 miles round trip to shop at a "real" grocery store.

  • you think all cars are sandy/buff colored.
    •  the speed limit is 80 miles per hour... in the school zone.

    • you know the difference between a butte and a mesa, between an arroyo and a draw.
    • your closest neighbor lives across the river... in another country. 
    • you have a windmill pumping water somewhere on your property.

    • Target is something to shoot, not a place to shop.
    •  the nearest Walmart is 200 miles away.
    • the biggest local employer is the U.S. Border Patrol.

    •  you're tempted to use a leaf blower to clean the dust off yourself at the end of the day to reduce the amount of mud forming in the bathtub.
    • at every turn, you see vast unspoiled landscapes of beautiful natural scenery.